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Healthy Personal Boundaries

Healthy personal boundaries are a common topic I discuss with clients in coaching. Does any of the following sound familiar to you? - people pleasing - feeling responsible for their partners/parents happiness - expectations on others followed by disappointment - trying to change or fix others - feeling guilty about disappointing others - worry what others might think - blaming others Healthy boundaries are the foundation of healthy, happy and lasting relationships. This applies to all kinds of relationships. Usually it’s easier to set and keep up these boundaries in work relationships or friendships, more difficult in romantic relationships and the hardest in family relationships. So, first things first, let’s define what we mean by healthy boundaries: the limits (physical, emotional and mental) we establish to protect ourselves from being used, manipulated or violated by others. Through healthy boundaries we separate ourselves, our thoughts and emotions from the thoughts and emotions of others. The foundation of healthy boundaries is healthy self-esteem. However, the other way around, healthy boundaries also lead to higher self-esteem. To set healthy boundaries you have to become really clear on YOUR RESPOSIBILITY vs. OTHER’S RESPONSIBILITY. You take full responsibility for your own actions, thoughts and feelings, while NOT taking responsibility for the actions, thoughts and feeling of others. Here’s a little trick, when you catch yourself taking on what’s not your responsibility: say to yourself NYB (not your business), and re-direct your self-talk. Over time you’ll create more and more awareness. There’d be so much more to write about this topic. I’d love to read your questions or input on this topic in the comments!



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