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HOLD YOURSELF, AND LET OTHERS HOLD YOU AS WELL

Do you hold the belief that you have to deal with your struggles by yourself, or do you ask for and accept support from others? Asking for support, or even accepting support that has been offered, is not easy for many of us. For various reasons, e.g.: * we don’t want to be a burden for others * we want to be independent * we are uncomfortable to make ourselves vulnerable * we don’t want to show ‘weakness’ * seeking help from a therapist / counsellor / coach etc. is still stigmatised It takes courage to show our dark sides or admit difficulties, although we all have them. So it’s ironic that we hold back in order to not being seen as ‘weak’. Real connection with others requires vulnerability. Building trust is not a one way street. It not only requires us to be open to the other person and supporting them, but also to open up ourselves. When we open up to someone else they feel that we trust them. And more often than not this deepens a relationship and the other knows that it is safe to open up as well. Of course it is important to select who to open up to. A word of advice for when someone is seeking support from you: really listen without judgement, put away your own story, don’t give unsolicited advice, and remember the best you can ‘do’ is holding space for the person in front of you by letting them express themselves and being really present with them. I believe it’s most important that we are able to hold ourselves. That we cultivate an inner strength and peace that allows us to do that. But I also learned that we are all interconnected and it is important to let others hold us at times. I’m curious. Do you have any other reasons for not seeking help from others? Do you have difficulties opening up? Can you hold yourself?


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